Soft Power

In the United States we tend to equate powerful people with larger than life personalities, but that isn't true of every country or culture. Susan Cain discusses the concept of soft power in her book The Quiet Revolution. 

Soft power is most easily summed up with quietly leading by example. Many of us know that quiet person that one day spoke up and startled a whole conversation. When you are quiet, just the act of speaking up adds weight and power to the thought. Showing where you stand on issues with action instead of only speaking louder. Introverts can make great leaders because of their tendency to listen and speak purposefully. That thoughtfulness coupled with action is inspiring and powerful. Soft power is like the power of water in a stream. It flows babbling softly but molding every thing it touches both leaving a path for the water behind it and a current for those wanting to be carried along.

A few of examples of leaders with soft power are Mahatma Gandhi, Rosa Parks and Eleanor Roosevelt.









photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/34119693@N03/28923944066">Favorite place on earth</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>

Introvert or Extrovert

Lately, I've been reading Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking. It was amazing to read a book that validated who I am and explained some of my reactions. Many the self development books I read coach you to adopt extroverted habits. I often end up feeling like I'm lacking instead of focusing on areas in my life I can improved by using my strengths. I'm planning a few posts based on ideas I picked up in this book, so I think first it would be best to provide a very general definition of what it means to be an introvert or extrovert.

An introvert is a person that needs to recharge alone and spends a lot of time in thought. Some have referred to this constant deep thought as a "rich inner life."

Extroverts are energized by social interaction and maybe quick to speak. They may also tend to think out loud.

It seems to me that either more people are admitting their introversion or it has become popular to claim to be an introvert. It also seems like some people are equating their antisocial preferences to introversion and that is not accurate either. Neither personality type is better than the other and most people are not purely introvert or purely extrovert. My reason for reading and recommending this book is because it is important to understand your strengths and from where you draw your energy. It's also important to understand how other people you meet might be most comfortable and how to tap into their strengths.

There are quizzes all over the internet. Search for one and learn whether you are more introverted or extroverted!



photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/95435674@N07/16887299893">Philadelphia</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">(license)</a>

Do you count your mistakes or your solutions?

The desire for everything to run smoothly is a false goal - it leads to measuring people by the mistakes they make rather than by their ability to solve problems. - Ed Catmull

There is this concept that a good day is one that ran smoothly. It exists in business, in motherhood, event planning and even vacations.  There is this pressure, then, to not make mistakes. Mistakes take time to fix, which uses more resources. Time and money spent on fixing mistakes is seen as wasted.

"Measure twice; cut once."

But mistakes are inevitable and are part of the learning experience. People that never make mistakes never take risks. Problem solvers may be able to fix mistakes with less resources or may identify problems earlier so that less damaging mistakes are made. Planning, information gathering, and double-checking is important. But equally important is taking action. Some even argue for taking action faster, so you can make mistakes faster, so you can fix them faster. As a recovering perfectionist this whole concept makes me squeamish, but it does make a little sense. I'd argue for striking a balance between preparation and action.

Focusing on problem solving, rather than the mistake, is a positive action to move forward. The faster the focus to turns to problem solving, the faster you can recover from any setbacks.

When was the last problem you solved?

Laying the track or driving the train?

Are you driving the train or laying the track?


I bet you said or at least wanted to say, "Driving the train." It sounds more exciting, powerful and in control. Trains are powerful, awe-inspiring machines. Driving one might be pretty exciting except that driving a train is not like driving a car. With trains, it is the track that determines the destination. So the planners that determined where the track should go and the workers who put it in place and maintain it really hold the position of power.

If you want to compare your life or business to a train, it is best you think of yourself as the person laying the track. The speed of the train is preset because life will move on at the speed of time with or without you. Your train's direction and destination is up to you.

Unexpected

"You'll never stumble on to the unexpected if you stick only to the familiar." 

Ed Catmull, Creativity, Inc.

This line in the Creativity, Inc., really stood out to me. It's a simple statement about expectation, but unexpected in itself.

Expect the unexpected.

Great expectations.

Living up to expectations.

Can you think of more common phrases about expectations? Are they positive or negative?

Expectations are things that we think we know are going to happen at some point - near or far- in the future. There tends to be positive connotations with expectation, though not always. The unexpected, however, tends to be negative. It implies lack of preparation and foresight.  Catmull, however, is saying that the unexpected is something desirable that you hope to stumble upon by exploring new and unfamiliar places. It can certainly be an exciting way to learn and really the only way to learn something entirely new. The only way to contribute something new and original to the world is to be brave enough to venture into unfamiliar territory and embrace the unexpected.

So we can see how this would be applicable to a person or company that makes it's living being creative. They write stories, tell stories, and create technology to tell the stories in new ways. But how would this apply to a person that is not a creative type or does not have a career that even encourages creativity? 

While we may have no desire to be inventors of any kind, thinking of the unexpected in a positive light can benefit anyone. The unexpected happens to all of us because life is largely out of our control, but when we look at the unexpected as a positive that is there for us to learn from we take control of that circumstance. We can look at the unexpected as a gift from God. We may not like it, but we can and should use it to learn and grow.

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/54084100@N00/12304900615">Unexpected</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/">(license)</a>

The Game You Play

From Ed Catmull's Creativity, Inc.:

"If you're sailing across the ocean and your goal is to avoid weather and waves, then why the hell are you sailing? You have to embrace that sailing means that you can't control the elements and that there will be good days and bad days and that, whatever comes, you will deal with it because your goal is to get to the other side. You will not be able to control exactly how you get across. That's the game you've decided to be in. If your goal is to make it easier and simpler, then don't get in the boat." -Andrew Stanton

How many life situations can this illustration apply? At anytime when you have a results oriented goal, perhaps within a few parameters, how you reach that goal should be flexible. If it's not flexible the first challenge will prevent the goal from being reached. If you expect that the route will change, you can continue to move forward in different ways and directions by keeping your eye on the goal.

photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/29697915@N00/4850998727">IMG_1408.JPG</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>

A Path to Mediocrity

I'm reading this fascinating book Creativity, Inc., written by Ed Catmull. Catmull is arguably the founder of Pixar Animation Studios. He writes about how Pixar as we know it came to be, lessons learned, and techniques they use to keep the studio creating and innovating.

So really what does this have to do with motherhood, direct sales, or just life? Why did I decide to spend my valuable time reading it? Well, first because I'm a creative person and I'm curious about other creative minds. Second, because in direct sales there is a wealth of advice, catch phrases, how-tos, and recommended motivational material but at some point it all starts to sound the same and ceases to be interesting. I don't know about you but I won't read it if it isn't holding my interest. In my experience the best advice comes from the insights gained from authors whose intended audience in anyone other than someone in direct sales. Naturally, a motivation speaker or how-to writer is going to tell us what he thinks we need and want to hear, especially if they want to sell books and fill seats at speaking engagements!

So today I want to share a little nugget from the book. Copying what has come before or success with minimal risk is a guaranteed path to mediocrity.

It may be flattering to pay homage to those that have come before us, paving the way in our chosen field, but it isn't going to result in any great contribution to our field or the world. So, again, how does this apply in my life? I don't run a business that thrives on creativity. But we do ALL in some way sell ourselves and none of us are exactly alike. So to bring this into a practical setting, I want to apply this lesson to direct sales. I can learn warm chatter techniques, use booking scripts, follow "party" or presentation outlines, and learn how to close a sale. BUT if I am not my authentic self when doing all these things I will not be a success.We have to take these techniques and make them our own. We have to be genuine and mean what we say. It's a mental trap to think we can't, simply because we cannot do something the way someone else does it or be what someone else is. We were never meant to be someone else and we can be a success just being our best selves.



photo credit: <a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/46753878@N07/8854830185">la lectrice</a> via <a href="http://photopin.com">photopin</a> <a href="https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc-sa/2.0/">(license)</a>